Sunday, November 9, 2008

men and their impossible mindset

Men these days have no idea what the hell they want from life, let alone from a woman. I'm sick of tired dealing with mixed up emotions. How hard is it to find a man who actually has something going for him and can actually be romantic, fun, considerate, and loving.

Is it too much to ask for a little fidelity? i mean, i'm not married or nothing and i even have wondering eyes sometimes, but its not to the point where i imagine sexing them. why the hell do men do that? isn't that one woman your with, the one who takes care of you when your sick, comes to your rescue when no one else will, and who waits for you to come home when you're out not enough to satisfy your needs? it's like me have to make the worst decisions of their lives and go through an extreme mess just to realize what they had or what they should really be looking for in a woman.

all that used to mean so much to me - love, emotions, effort. although it still means something to me, it seems so impossible to find something like that which lasts forever. everything that i've ever experienced is short-term. all good things come to an end and i don't want to experience that kind of ending anymore. its becoming my choice to not want to put myself out there for love, because all i would be asking for is to get hurt. i'm sick of it. my heart has been through so much that it deserves i break, i deserve a break. i no longer feel the need to want to get married, it seems like bullshit to me. its hard to find lasting relationships, a man always gets tired of his woman. i know that women can be deceitful as well, but its more likely to happen with men. i don't wanna have to figure out the lying, the signs, nothing. it's too much effort that i've been wasting my time with all this time.

fuck everlasting love. when you find it, make sure to let me know, that is, if it hasn't escaped you yet.

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