Searching through the Sea...

For the past week, theres been this guy trying to get with me. What happened to him? Let's just say he moved to quick, to fast, no game, too much niceness for comfort, not interesting, admired from afar, and tried way 2 hard. Plus he was 26, he doesnt have all that much time left 2 find a wife and have those kids he's hopin for - cause it sure as hell ain't coming from me!

Where are all the good guys at? The answer is taken or gay (haha). It's like the only single guys r weird, desperate or all around uninteresting. But in this case, its not right to use the saying "beggars can't be choosers". I believe in giving guys a fair shot at a potential thing, but if its really not workin, move on. But it seems like more and more, its hard to give anyone a shot. I don't wanna waste my time cause when i do, i get fucked over or i run into guys like this last one.

It's really hard for me 2 imagine that theres one guy out there for me. I dont wanna settle for just anyone. I've had some good guys in the past, but it just wasn't meant to be, and its ok, they're happy. But where does that leave me? Am i happy? I don't really know anymore to be honest. I have things to be happy about, im healthy (not for long if i keep smoking), i'm in school getting a degree, got my clubs goin on, meeting great people everyday, i generally have a bright future, so what the hell is missing? Someone to share it with. I'm content with doing all this shit on my own, but i wish i had someone to support me, share the happy/sad moments with me, keep my head straight.

What a coincidence that today, which is the day i let that guy go, i was in a completley different state, the great state of Pennsylvania, and why do i happen to pass by a town with my ex's name in it? "fate"sville? wtf is that? i mean a friend told me that things are how u make it, so i just added the connotation to it that its about my ex, but really? why the hell man. A part of me wants to believe that things like these are signs for a future but at the same time, let's be real: i don't even cross his mind. He's livin his own happy life and nowhere does that include me. It's ok. I dunno where or when i'll be just as happy, but hopefully i won't have to wait forever for it 2 happen.