About Valentine's Day

Oh Valentine's Day aka Single Awareness Day.

I thought today was going to be a terrible Vday. Seeing all the couples together, holding hands in public, kissing, seeing them in the windows of resteraunts having a wonderful time together...i thought i would've wanted to throw stuff at them, especially because i was in the city. Surprisingly, i didn't see much of that today. Yeah, i saw couples, but nothing big, no lovey-dovey stuff. Me and some friends were even at a hookah bar and we saw couples there, and some guy was more interested in our conversation then he was with his date (she didn't look to interested either). And neway, who would bring a date to hookah? lol

Honestly, i was never into the whole Vday deal. i think that any day should be Vday, shouldn't just be one day out of the year that a guy should show their appreciation for their girlfriend, it should be an ongoing thing. BUT, it would be nice if just once, someone made the true effort to make a really special valentine's day for me. I don't need expensive jewelry or a $200 check for dinner. Like a friend of mine said: the more creative it is, the better. Which is true. the more thought someone puts into something is proof of the time they spent just to please you. Hasn't happened for me yet, but hopefully one day someone will care about me enough to go out of their way for me.

I'm not as upset as i thought i would be today. i think what makes me sad is the fact no one thought of me to ask me to be their valentine. i guess for the guys i've been talking to, there's someone else more worth taking out then me; well, what are ya gonna do. i had one person in mind that i really would've loved to go out with, but as i've found out, he must've went out with someone special cause right now he's "very happy and had a great valentine's day". i'm happy that he's happy - he needs someone to keep him smiling.

and it was funny because yesterday, i went to a bible study with a friend (do NOT ask why i went) and we watched a christian/romance movie about a married couple on the verge of divorce. and the husband was the one doing a lot of the fucking up so his father gave him a book that was called the "love dare" and there were 40 pages, one page a day, where the husband had to read it and do what that day told him to do. it was basically for him to treat her better, understand love, and see that God is a part of his life (i know, cheesy). well he became a better man even after the 40 days and his wife came back and they lived happily ever after.

i was tearing up almost the whole movie. the movie hit me hard enough that on fricken facebook i basically put a direct status to my ex that he still had a chance to come back. i know he never saw it. it wouldn't even matter if he did. i got a text really early in the morning but i was too tired to look at it, but i hoped it was him. it wasn't. i changed my status back to something more realistic. its amazing what media does to you, what it makes you believe in. i let my heart get away with me, but now i'm back to the real world. the world of heartbreak, life, constant change, struggles, hard work, and the neverending chase to happiness.